Mental Masturbation

It’s been years since the inception of the Internet (thanks to AL Gore, right?) and through its capabilities; you can reach out with just a few clicks of a mouse and find pretty much find information on any topic of interest. Well, my interest is the field of health and fitness and God knows there is an abundance of information on the subject – in fact, I’d say there is probably too much. Of course, with all this information and interest comes a copious amount of discussion groups and boards which involve many interesting parties. Some are new to the field of strength and conditioning, some have “dabbled” for a while and are still in a learning phase and unfortunately, there are only a few who really and truly are authorities that disseminate solid information. The main problem, however, lays in the majority of the group who think they know what they are talking about. These people, who are usually regurgitating information based on what they were told and not what they’ve learned for themselves, are actively “assisting” others - sort of like Ray Charles helping Stevie Wonder navigate driving a car.

But thanks must be extended to the self-anointed authorities, who without their constant dedication for scientifically dispelling all aspects of fitness and graciously sharing their new-found discoveries, we would not know the “real truth.” WOW, thank goodness for these individuals who have analyzed the precise applications and exact timeframe in which the most favorable atmosphere could be provided to take full advantage of the most insightful breakthrough of the millennia.

Man-o-man, am I tired of reading and hearing about all this BS. That’s all it is too, just plain old bull. These people are constantly going back and forth with all their research and hypotheses, discussing the optimal this and the optimal that, using their weights and measures as if that is supposed to validate their information or impress someone – although it very well may to those who don’t know any better. But for those who truly “do know”, we realize that the banter that goes on, the jockeying for Internet supremacy is not much more than mental masturbation - a constant evaluation and re-evaluation of the wheel and the need to perfect what is already working . Sadly, they add nothing worth investigating, let alone even worth mentioning and yet, somehow these unique individuals, in their own minds, feel as though it is they who created a new and better concept of the wheel. Well, guess what boys – you haven’t. The time spent discussing and arguing over the most menial aspects of training are sad and yet I find myself rubber-necking to view the wreck on the side of the road by going back to these boards to see what analytical crap is being dealt out for questions like “how much time a weight should be lifted for”, ‘what time of day is best to exercise” and “is it ok to have sex the night before I workout?”. I guess on second thought, it’s pretty damn comical. Someone asking the world if it’s okay if he has sex before his workout is quite sad, but pretty damn funny when you think about it – even funnier is the host of responses being offered by these mental giants covering the “optimal times” and “time under load” for having sex prior to work out time.

Wow – how pathetic this has all become when someone takes something as simple and personal as training and makes it so complicated that all they do is spend all their time searching for perfection and the answer is right there underneath their nose the whole time - all they had to do was stop thinking and just start doing.

- Fred Fornicola